Should a Christian atend a Gay Couple"s Wedding Ceremony

 What do you do if a close family member or a co-worker with whom you have shared the gospel, and who understands that you live by biblical ethics, invites you to their marriage ceremony where they are marrying their same sex or transgender partner? They know you think homosexuality is sin, and that you believe marriage us reserved for heterosexual union, but they are still friendly with you. Do you risk the relationship by renouncing he wedding? Most Christians I know say that attendance at the wedding puts one in the position of being "a partner " in the marriage, making us enablers and supporters of egregious sin in direct disobedience to God's word. "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever? What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; as God said," (2 Cor 6:14-16). But is that a proper application of this text?

Is attendance at a wedding equivalent with "partnership" as described in this text? Are Christians in a pagan culture to share in worldly celebrations at all? Since God describes homosexuality as an  "abominatio;n" are we blaspheming and promoting abomination when we attend? What is a wedding? and is there a difference between a Christian wedding and a secular one? Does our attendance at a "gay wedding show approval of homosexual union?

Christians consider marriage a divine institution. It was established at creation (Gen 2:18-25) to maintain order, provision and to provide a means of procreation for the race. Christian's view marriage as a covenant made between God a man and a woman through which God creates offspring for himself (Mal 2: 13-16). Even children who may not be themselves redeemed are protected and blessed when they are under the tutelage of one godly parent. The term "partnership" is used in the context of being 'yoked' together. He is speaking of being bound in a commitment with someone who does not share our values. However, the scripture does not prohibit association, contact, socialization or participation with unbelievers. From creation marriage functioned as the means God created for social interaction, protection, community and procreation. God established Adam and Eve in a monogamous union that reflected Trinitarian oneness. When man sinned the community God had created in Eden was broken and men created new social orders. It was those living in rebellion against God that entered into polygamous relationship breaking away from God's plan. 

Christians are to engage and participate to have opportunity to preach the gospel or to show love. One attends a wedding to show your forbearance toward someone's life journey and your appreciation of their friendship. If attending a wedding of a homosexual means one is approving an unbiblical commitment, what about attending a wedding of others who are openly ignoring or violating scripture, such as those remarrying after an unbiblical divorce or cohabitation? Well first we must ask why it is unbiblical to attend a gay wedding and not the others. Some will argue that because the Old Testament calls homosexuality "an abomination? " Does the Scriptures characterization of someone's sin as egregious make our association with them an approval of it?  So is one who attends a gay wedding partnering with a person in their abomination? "The Scripture also says, "God hates divorce" (Mal 2:13). God hates liars. If one attends a wedding of someone whose lifestyle "God hates," are you partnering with something God hates? God describes divorce as a violent act against a covenant he has established. It is an extremely serious affront to God. Yet we treat the affront of homosexuality with greater consternation.

Can Christians participate in secular celebrations or festivals? Several passages speak to these kinds of issues and there does appear to be some liberty in these matters as well as some limitations for believers. Those they are often left as matter of conscience; discernment is needed to make the right decision. 

American Christians must understand that the SCOTUS Obergfell decision permitting gay marriage has created a new category and definition for a legal marriage. Previously the US Constitution and law recognized and held Judeo-Christian understanding of God as the ultimate moral authority. While decrying theocratic government, the legal basis for domestic and social relationships was based on the Bible. The Obergfell decision did not look to history or theology for approving homosexual union. It based the decision based on a new created right for dignity. No state can deny a marriage license if doing so denies dignity to the couple's union. it is a radical redefining of society and has already caused basic relational and social standard to change radically, as critic predicted it would.  

A marriage licensed by the state is fundamentally different transaction than a Christian wedding. So, if someone is being married in a secular ceremony, they are making no claim to a godly union. A Christian attending a secular gay wedding would be no different than attending a graduation at a secular school. But what about a gay marriage performed by Christian clergy or in a church, such an event would be an act of public blasphemy, but again how is it different from a Protestant who understands the Eucharist to a wedding mass, which openly blasphemes Christ, in the Protestant view? (I could not personally attend a homosexual wedding if it was officiated by a Christian cleric or in a church because I would be personally affronted. However, my personal affront would not serve as a basis for others to refrain. I am not saying it would necessarily be wrong for someone to do so just that I would not be able to bear Christ being publicly blasphemed in such open fashion. Were the wedding secular performed by a secular officiant in a secular venue I see no constraint.

Christians in the first century lived in a culture much like ours that brought them into contact with pagan rites and rituals, and even with cults that practiced sexual perversion. The New Testament speaks to how Christians are to engage those kinds of ritual celebrations and treat them as matter of conscience for the believer. Several biblical principles apply.

1. Our participation in pagan celebrations is a matter of conscience [6]" The one who observes the day, observes it in honor of the Lord. The one who eats, eats in honor of the Lord, since he gives thanks to God, while the one who abstains, abstains in honor of the Lord and gives thanks to God....[13] Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer...2] The faith that you have, keep between yourself and God. ...[22Blessed is the one who has no reason to pass judgment on himself for what he approves.... Let No One Disqualify You [16] Therefore let no one pass judgment on you in questions of food and drink, or with regard to a festival or a new moon or a Sabbath. [17] These are a shadow of the things to come, but the substance belongs to Christ. [18] Let no one disqualify you, insisting on asceticism and worship of angels, going on in detail about visions, puffed up without reason by his sensuous mind, [19] and not holding fast to the Head, from whom the whole body, nourished and knit together through its joints and ligaments, grows with a growth that is from God [20] If with Christ you died to the elemental spirits of the world, why, as if you were still alive in the world, do you submit to regulations—[21] “Do not handle, Do not taste, Do not touch” [22] (referring to things that all perish as they are used)—according to human precepts and teachings? (Romans 14: 6-22; Colossians 2:16–22ESV)
2.  We need to be concerned about how our participation in these things impacts other believers: Let not the one who eats despise the one who abstains, and let not the one who abstains pass judgment on the one who eats, for God has welcomed him.[9] For to this end Christ died and lived again, that he might be Lord both of the dead and of the living...13]Therefore, let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother. [20] Do not, for the sake of food, destroy the work of God... [20] Everything is indeed clean, but it is wrong for anyone to make another stumble by what he eats....[7] However, not all possess this knowledge. But some, through former association with idols, eat food as really offered to an idol, and their conscience, being weak, is defiled.... [ 9] But take care that this right of yours does not somehow become a stumbling block to the weak. [10] For if anyone sees you who have knowledge eating in an idol’s temple, will he not be encouraged, if his conscience is weak, to eat food offered to idols? [11] And so by your knowledge this weak person is destroyed, the brother for whom Christ died. [12] Thus, sinning against your brothers and wounding their conscience when it is weak, you sin against Christ. [13] Therefore, if food makes my brother stumble, I will never eat meat, lest I make my brother stumble. (Romans 14:9-20; 1 Cor 8:4-13ESV). Paul advises caution in that our actions should not cause another to stumble, it is important to understand what "stumble" means. Those Christians whom Paul addressed about eating meat sacrificed to idols, clearly had strong feelings about the matter, whether they ate or abstained. Clearly each was uncomfortable perhaps even repulsed by the actions of the other. Paul's concern about causing someone to stumble is about more than bothering someone or causing someone to be uncomfortable. It is about tempting them to sin. In other words, we must be very concerned for those Christians around us who may be dealing with sexual and relational brokenness. Our attendance at a gay wedding must not communicate approval to those who are struggling with the sin. So if we have been passive on the issue of homosexuality, and few around us are aware of our world view, or if we are closely associated with family member or friends who are wrestling with these issues, we need to be aware of how they might interpret our attendance. 

Paul gives specific guidance about how to decide about these associations that scripture does not speak to directly.

[23] “All things are lawful,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful,” but not all things build up. [24] Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor. [25] ....[28] But if someone says to you, “This has been offered in sacrifice,” then do not eat it, for the sake of the one who informed you, and for the sake of conscience—[29] I do not mean your conscience, but his. For why should my liberty be determined by someone else’s conscience? [30] If I partake with thankfulness, why am I denounced because of that for which I give thanks? [31] So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. [32] Give no offense to Jews or to Greeks or to the church of God, [33] just as I try to please everyone in everything I do, not seeking my own advantage, but that of many, that they may be saved. [1] Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ. (1 Corinthians 10:23–11:1ESV)

There seems to be three things to consider:

• "Whatever you do, do all to the glory of God..., give no offense to the church of God...Be imitators of Christ," Does your attendance bring glory to God? Does what you do or wear you go glorify God. Is your testimony known to those whom you would know at the wedding. Do those who know you understand that you attending the wedding without approving it?
• Do your actions show love, without harming another? "Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor." This may be the primary consideration. Does your attendance at the wedding demonstrate you love for the couple without doing them harm?
• The third consideration is your attendance helpful. "All things are lawful, but not all things are profitable, not all things build up...why should my liberty be determined by some else's conscience." Does your attendance advance the testimony of Christ in the lives of the couple?

Where your world view is known to a couple and you own understanding of sexuality is clear, and providing you are not a participant in the ceremony there may be a context in which a believer could attend the wedding of a gay couple. I see nothing that would specifically prohibit a Christian from attending a gay couple's ceremony, but I do think there are caveats that one must consider.