Some Reflection on the American Idol Murder

The recent arrest of Caleb Flynn for the murder of his wife Ashley has caused me great sorrow. First for Ashley, the victim, and  her two daughters and extended family; second I feel sorrow for the church, which all those involved attended, and the reputation of the gospel;   Third, while I long for justice, and recognize that the penalty is well deserved in this case. I do feel compassion for the perpetrators of this crime. I guess it just I had "but-for-the-grace-of-God-there-go-I" feeling as I watched it all unfold. While I felt repulsion for Caleb Flynn's actions.. He is now a convicted felon likely to spend his life in prison; however, I feel repulsion for the depth of my own sin, and for what sin does. The older I get the longer I live the more I realize as the splinter in another person's eye is never as large as the log in my own, and any judgement I cast on other must be viewed in light of my own sin; I am  reminded again of Moses warning to the Hebrew exiles; "[23] But if you will not do so, behold, you have sinned against the LORD, and be sure your sin will find you out. (Numbers 32:23ESV)." I can empathize with confusion, and tension that  Christian Life Center of Tipp City, Ohio, where  Caleb Flynn ultimately became involved in a dalliance with church's Worship Leader, Alleigha Botner, must be experiencing. Anyone who has been involved in a church realized the damage these kinds of events do to the name of Christ; the anguish and confusion they bring to the community, the church's gospel ministry and sense of community for years. The challenges for the Pastoral Staff in this situation are immense. i pray for grace and healing for the entire body. Fourthly, although her behavior cannot be excused I feel compassion for the young Christian Woman who succumbed to the advances of an older, supposedly mature Christian man. 

For those of you who do not know about the case you can go to any social media platform enter in "Caleb Flynn, Ashley Flynn, Alleigha Botner, American Idol Murder" and you will get thousand of hours of people's expression of repulsion and condemnation about these crimes and their perpetrators. I can appreciate that an open and public trial is part of the guarantee's of a fair trial under the US Constitution. I do support justice being done, and support Flynn's just punishment under the law.

 I am embarrassed and wounded at the way the name of Christ has been sullied in these events. For those less inclined to the Social Media world let me summarize. These are my reflections, nothing more, nothing less. I do not intend to impugn or cast aspersion on any person, pastor or church where I only know the report that has come from the secular press that loves to sensationalism. What can we as people of God learn from this tragedy. I have no insider information on this situation, and certainly can not evaluate people's actions based on media report. But these are some observations I think I can make base on what we know from public reporting:

Following their graduation from Christian College and marriage 15+ year ago Caleb Flynn and Ashley Flynn were living in South Carolina where Caleb was a worship pastor in an evangelical church when in 2009 he competed for the finals in the popular television talent show "American Idol." There is a famous clip of him declaring his love for his beautiful wife, and acknowledging that she had supported him for the competition. Several years later the Flynn's moved to the Dayton Ohio suburb of Tipp City, where Caleb went to work for his father-in-law in a commercial flooring and furniture business that primarily sold to churches around the country. The couple had two beautiful daughters, Ava and Allisa, 10 and 12 at the time of the murder. The business was lucrative Caleb made a 6-figure income and the success of the business seemed to foreshadow a prosperous Upper Middle Class future for the young family. Ashley was a devoted wife and mother, who was active in her church, Bible Camp, and in her family's lives. Her family, the Smith's, loved Caleb, by all indications his relationship with the family was amicable and professional. The family had nothing bad to say about Caleb, and Ashley's father, Todd Smith had gifted the business to his two daughter's Ashley and Amana, and they with their husbands were running it, guaranteeing his two daughter's and son's in law a prosperous future for the rest of their lives. The family would testify at trial that both daughter's and son's in law seemed to have the outward appearance of a strong healthy marriage and healthy working and professional relationship with their respective families. Ashley and Caleb's home looked like a model Christian family until Feb 26 of this year.

Around 2am on February 26th Caleb made an hysterical 911 call, reporting to the Tipp City dispatcher that his  home  had been invaded and Ashley had been murdered. He reported that while he was sleeping on a living room couch due to a cold he did not wish to give to his wife, an intruder had broken into the garage door, taken a gun from the center console of his FORD 150, ran into the couple's bedroom and shot Ashley twice in the head killing her, then quickly left the same way he came. As the investigation develop the circumstantial evidence clearly showed that for the nearly two years Caleb Flynn had been living a duplicitous counterfeit life, leading to Caleb becoming the only suspect.

At 37, two year's before the murder, Flynn, became enamored with the gorgeous 20 year old worship intern at the church. Once her internship was complete the church hired her as worship pastor and she and  Caleb Flynn became more and more closely involved in work. Caleb began openly pursuing Aleigha, and soon their relationship transitioned from professional to personal and ultimately to sexual. They entered into a long sordid affair. Much of the relationship was conducted over text messaging and social media. Ultimately they exchange of over 107,000 text messages. Many of those text messages were ignominious lies, false accusations and pejorative slurs about Ashley Smith Flynn and the Smith family. Both Caleb and Aleigha messaged many times that they wanted Ashley gone, and both said more than once "they wanted to kill her" (though Aleigha would testify she was using hyperbole, and only wanted the couple to divorce). While Caleb and Ashley were on a 15th Anniversary cruise Ashley discovered the affair, and the text messages  between Caleb, her husband. Aleigha, the mistress became uncomfortable about her relationship with a married man. her reputation and her job. She began demanding that Caleb choose between her and Ashley, and either divorce his wife or they would end their relationship. After making several demands, setting boundaries and deadlines for Caleb to end his marriage, Aleigha broke off the relationship last December.

After the breakup Aleigha went on with her life, though she continued to coverup the the affair from church leadership over fear of losing her position. Caleb continued his relentless pursuit of Ashley even after she was having dates with other men, and began texting Aleigha, who repeatedly told Caleb she had "move on" and that any chance for any future relationship between them would require him to divorce his wife. Aleigha re-engaged in the texting to help him take necessary steps to  divorce Ashley and maintain the cover-up of their affair.  In February, Caleb scheduled an appointment with Aleigha and her ministry supervisor for later in the month. Aleigha texted back about Caleb's intention. He indicated to her that he intended to inform Ashley that he was leaving her, and was meeting with her family and Aleigha's supervisor to explain his actions hopefully to get the church's approval for the divorce. He informed Aleigha that he intended to keep the affair secret. Aleigha and Caleb began surreptitiously deleting their text's and social media history to cover up the affair from the church and Ashley. 

Ashley Flynn, hoping to preserve her marriage, planned a romantic Valentine encounter with her husband on Feb 14, which Caleb rebuffed. He texted Aleigha about his hatred for his wife and said he had told her that he wanted a divorce, and was choosing Aleigha over his wife and that on Feb 16 every thing would change, and he would be "free." He said, "It will be a day I will never forget." At approximately 2:30 am. On February 16 Caleb Flynn murdered his wife Ashley in her bed and staged the scene to try to created a ruse that she had been killed in a home invasion gone wrong. After hearing the news Aleigha texted Caleb, asking what had happened and whether he was behind the murder. He assured her he was not. Later in the day  Aleigha went with the church staff to to the home of Ashley's parents, where Caleb and his daughter's were staying to provide pastoral care and comfort to the family  Caleb, speaking privately to  Aleihga, said, "I told you things would change. I bet you didn't think it would happen that way."  Alleigha was repulsed by the comment and became terrified of Caleb. Instead of going to the police she continued to hide the affair and her involvement to protect her job and reputation. She ultimately gave the dramatic testimony at trial that convicted Caleb Flynn. 

I was fascinated by this trial because of the situation's entanglement in the life of the church. The Senior Pastor testified on behalf of the prosecution in the trial about ethics guidelines and moral standard on the church's staff. During the trial Ashley Flynn's father Todd testified that he was travelling back from a hunting trip in Quebec when he got the news of his daughters death. Finding Caleb's story suspect, in his grief and desperation, he asked Goggle, "can a Christian man flip and murder his wife?" As  Aleigha testified about her affair. She gave glimpses of how their mutual relationship with  Christ and their service on the worship ministry worked. It raised some questions to me about the nature of their purported walk with God. How could to who had been so close to Jesus Christ and engaged in the church had fallen so far? And frankly it reminded me of some things I see far too often. 

From Aleigha testimony I inferred her relationship with Caleb was vacant the practice of spiritual disciplines or structure and lack vitality, but that it did have emotional fervency that represented it self to them and others as worship. The Christianity that she portrayed on the stand seemed very experience oriented. As the two became involved they sought validation from God for what they were doing. Caleb at one point claimed to get God's approval on their, disobedience and deception after a 40 day fast where he said God had told he was "released him from his marriage." Aleigha, though now acknowledging the relationship was immoral, sought validation in feeling, signs and experience. At trial Aleigha seemed like a broken, remorseful woman who confessed what she did was wrong, seemed remorseful over the damage she had caused to the Flynn family, but not once did she described her relationship as sin, or dishonoring God or his Word or her statement as blasphemous. The inference I drew from her testimony  and from others in the church who testified who knew her, was that her relationship with God was oriented to experiencing God. She sought validated and confirmed her decision through insights she made about her experiences. Leading to her believe that  God approved of her wrong doing, even though she continued to hide the relationship from the church and extended family. She and Caleb seemed to make decisions and justify their actions based on experiential validation, rather than through the confirmation of God's Word. It seemed to me that neither had a life and relationship that was centered an built on understanding the truth  of the Word of God and Sound Theology and worshiping God "in spirt and in truth". There appear to be, at least, in their experience a lack of discipleship.

As a Pastor and Chaplain I have seen this many times, people who seek validation of their Christian faith and life through various kinds of circumstances or who in the end  justify improper, inappropriate or sometimes sinful or evil decision, while claiming affirmation from their subjective interpretation of what God is doing. Sometimes even equating certain decision experiences and things that happen to them with the voice of God. The claim, "God told me to do it," or "God gave me a peace about it," can be used to validate or justify almost anything, and can be a dangerous claim. It seemed from what information we have in the media and trial that neither Caleb Flynn nor his paramour Aleigha Botner, though both professing Christian leaders in their church, were very strongly rooted in God's word or led by his Spirit.

While this is obviously an extreme case of people becoming misguided, I see a growing number of Christian who live a shallow subjective Christian life guided by fluctuating emotions and experience and equating that with God's voice. These kinds of misguided action is the result of the very common practice of making decisions based on "hearing God's voice," or "joining him in what He is doing." It is a destructive practice. Moses made it very clear how God's people were to go about their daily lives, [1] “And when all these things come upon you, the blessing and the curse, which I have set before you, and you call them to mind among all the nations where the LORD your God has driven you, [2] and return to the LORD your God, you and your children, and obey his voice in all that I command you today, with all your heart and with all your soul, [3] then the LORD your God will restore your fortunes and have mercy on you, and he will gather you again from all the peoples where the LORD your God has scattered you." (Deuteronomy 30:1–3ESV). 

In the Old Testament the voice of God was heard through the prophetic reveleation, not in the experience of the people . Even in the New Testament it is made clear that subjective experience is subject to prophetic authority.

3] His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, [4] by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire...[17] For when he received honor and glory from God the Father, and the voice was borne to him by the Majestic Glory, “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased,” [18] we ourselves heard this very voice borne from heaven, for we were with him on the holy mountain. [19] And we have the prophetic word more fully confirmed, to which you will do well to pay attention as to a lamp shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts, [20] knowing this first of all, that no prophecy of Scripture comes from someone’s own interpretation. [21] For no prophecy was ever produced by the will of man, but men spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit. (2 Peter 1:3-4,17–21ESV)

It would seem to me that their is an over emphasis on "experiencing God" today to the point where discipleship and theology are neglect and many Christians are lead into falsehood or even wrong choices by a reliance on what God is doing rather that on what he has said. 

These observations are not meant to impugn anyone, nor is it meant to be critical of those at Tipp City Christian Church or their staff. Satan is a deceiver, and sinful people are deceptive. Their are deceptive and counterfeit people everywhere, but I do wonder if there is a lesson to be learned about the importance of discipleship and accountability. 

At this point I pray for the Smith's the Flynn's, the Botner's and for Tipp City Church that God will give them great wisdom and abundant grace as the continue in their lives and I abide in the promise that even these horrible events "work together for good, for those who love God and are called according to his purposes."  I am also reminded of a conversation I had with a Pastor at a church I attended many years ago in Upstate New York. He said, "Glenn, anyone who is not hearing the voice of God regularly and consistently is probably not following him." My response, was, then, and would be today, "I open the Word of God and hear his voice many times every day."