Does God Give Us More Than We Can Handle?

Several years ago I received a call from the wife of a colleague who pastor-ed a church of the same denomination that I did only in a neighboring town. He had been caught in an affair and had been faced with the realization that he was going to lose his family, his church and his reputation. Being in his late 50's starting over was going to be difficult for him. Seeing no way out he took his own life. Many people both in my church and his asked how a Christian could get to the point that they felt "suicide" was the best solution to their problem? How can someone who knows Christ reach the point that they are unable to cope. Several people asserted that the true believer will never get to that point.  I hear well meaning people saying to  suffering people nearly every day, "You'll get through this. You can be strong. The Bible says, 'God will never give you more than you can handle.' " Does it? Is that what the Bible promises to the suffering? What if our suffering is the result of our own sin or lifestyle, as in the case of my colleague?

Does the promise of redemption in Christ mean that trouble and suffering will be limited to what we are capable of enduring? Does the Bible actually say that God will never give us more than we can handle; is that true in our experience or the experience of suffering saints? What exactly do people mean who say that God will never give us more than we can handle? Does it mean an authentic Christian living in Iraq who is threatened with beheading is assured the strength to remain faithful? Does it mean that a Christian will never suffer beyond their ability to endure? Does a Christian enduring a horribly painful disease have an assurance they will be able to persevere with out complaint, or doubt? Has a person whose vitality and vigor are gone failed God, or has God failed them? Can a person who has lived a destructive, dysfunctional life like Samson did be assured that God will rescue them from their destructive actions?

Samson was a faithful servant of God whose life and ministry was destroyed by his own sinful choices (Judges 13-16). Despite Samson's failure and the misery he brought on himself God still accomplished His purpose of defeating the Philistines through him. David, though forgiven, saw his family and kingdom irreparably damaged by his sin (2 Samuel 12: 7-14). Perhaps the problem is not with God; perhaps it is with us. Could it be that God give us no more than we can handle, but our sin can bring us unendurable suffering?  Is that the message of God's grace that we are forgiven in the after life but suffer for our sin in this life? What comfort is that to the person who suffers? Do people get sick or suffer because of their sin? Jesus said that was not the case (John 9). Although we recognize that the corruption in the world through sin is the ultimate cause of all human suffering (Romans 8:19 & 20), and that pain and suffering come to all because all sin (Luke 13: 1-9). Sin is not the immediate cause of all suffering. Bad things do happen to good people.

Some people seek to comfort hurting friends or family with the assurance that God is never the source of our suffering, and that he promises us the strength to endure whatever we face. Are we not spared the consequences of the wrath of God (1 Thessalonians 5:9; 2 Corinthians 5:21)? Who is it that lives righteous lives? While sickness and illness may not be a direct product of our sin (John 9), all of us participate in the sin that brings judgment and sickness on the world (Luke 13: 1-9). We all deserve suffering because of our individual sin. The question for us is does grace spare us from difficult situations that are beyond our ability to endure? The Apostle Paul reminds us that the way of the cross is seldom the easy, pain free road.

For we do not want you to be unaware, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. (2 Corinthians 1:8-9 ESV)

Paul and his companions in Asia faced incomprehensible suffering, and they despaired of life itself. They had more than they could take! They would have rather died than endured what they faced there. These were servants of Christ following God into the place He had called them. He lead them to a place where they suffered beyond their ability to endure. God gave them more than they were able to handle. They did not want to go on living. God had clearly lead these faithful saints to a place where their own personal strength was exhausted; their physical, emotional and spiritual resources were consumed. Or what about those in the so called faith chapter who did not receive what God promised:

Some were tortured, refusing to accept release, so that they might rise again to a better life. Others suffered mocking and flogging, and even chains and imprisonment. They were stoned, they were sawn in two, they were killed with the sword. They went about in skins of sheep and goats, destitute, afflicted, mistreated—of whom the world was not worthy—wandering about in deserts and mountains, and in dens and caves of the earth.And all these, though commended through their faith, did not receive what was promised, (Hebrews 11:35b-39 ESV)

The author of Hebrews commends these people because they trusted God despite His unfulfilled promised to them. The answer to the question does God give us more than we can handle appears to be yes, sometimes; it is a false hope to assure a suffering person that God will never lead them beyond their ability to endure. Yet often it is believers who have some level of biblical understanding who make this false claim, because they think it is somehow comforting. When you ask people who make this claim where the Bible says this they usually allude to one of the following two verses, or both showing that they misunderstand them:

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.(1 Corinthians 10:13 ESV)

I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:12-13 ESV)

Concluding from either or both of these verses that "God never gives us more than we can handle" takes each of them out of their context. First Corinthians 10:13 is easily misunderstood due to the phrase "he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability." The Bible distinguishes between trials and temptation. Trials may come from God and bring reward and blessing out of them but He never brings temptation. He never entices us to sin:

Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God,” for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death. (James 1:12-15 ESV)

Temptation is a selfish reaction to one's circumstances. It is a passionate seeking of your own self interest and a turning away from God. God does not lead us into temptation. God may lead us to trials, or circumstances that test our faith. 1 Corinthians 10 tells us about the Israelites turning from God to idols, gluttony and sexual immorality when they faced difficult circumstances in the wilderness. They lost confidence in God's ability to provide and became only concerned for their selfish pleasure and survival. (1 Corinthinans 10: 1- 12) First Corinthians 10: 13 follows a warning about trying to manage difficult circumstances on our own strength and ability. It says, for the one who believes, God will all ways provide a way to do what is right and to obey him. It may not be the easy way. It may even make our personal situation more grim as when Joseph shunned the sexual advances of Potiphar's wife (Genesis 39), yet God will work his purposes for us through them. God may lead us into difficult situations where we face a moral dilemma or persecution. This passage teaches that we always have a choice to do what is right. God will work through our situation to bring about his purposes for our lives.

The second passage may be a little more difficult to understand. I often here people quote Philippians 4:13 as if it means that "Christians can do anything." As if the two Christian men who were among the passengers who attempted to overcome the terrorist on United Flight 91 on 9/11/01 should have had the God given strength to defeat them and fly the plane. Does this promise that I can do all things mean that if my child has an appendicitis attack I can get out my table knives and go to work? Why call an ambulance when people are hurt? The word "all" does not mean every conceivable reality in the universe can be achieved by trusting God. "All" must always be understood in context. Remember God dispersed the human race to keep them from unlimited ability (Genesis 11: 6). With God all things are possible but no individual person has unlimited ability. We are created in God's image, but we are not gods, and our salvation does not make us gods. In Philippians 4 Paul is a senior citizen who is in a Roman jail for proselytizing and preaching the gospel. Paul says he has learned to be content and that through Christ he can do all things that God has called him to do. God has given him the ability to find peace even in a dungeon. Wherever God leads us He can strengthen us and empower us to obey, trust him, and be faithful to his call regardless of the circumstances.

For both Joseph in the Old Testament and Paul in the New doing "all things through Him who strengthens me" gave them the ability to endure an unfair imprisonment while remaining faithful to their call. Whatever God calls us to do He enables us to do. He provides me with the strength to go where He leads me. How is that different from God never giving us more than we can handle? Paul gives us more than we can handle so in ours desperation we chose to trust him. It has to do with the source of strength. In one case we are dependent on his strength, the other on ours. Compare the Philippians 4 statement to Paul's statement about his trials in Asia:

For we do not want you to be unaware, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again. You also must help us by prayer, so that many will give thanks on our behalf for the blessing granted us through the prayers of many.(2 Corinthians 1:8-11 ESV)


Paul says God stretched them beyond their limit "to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead." As desperate as they were in Asia they were not suicidal. They did not lose hope. Their hope was not in their ability to endure, but in His power to deliver them through the crisis. "On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again." They also put their hope in the prayers of the saints, "You also must help us by prayer" When we are beyond our ability to go on. We turn to Him; we rely on the strength that comes from God and from the ministry of His people. It is when we walk through affliction with another prayerful believer that God blesses us with His presence and power:

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer. Our hope for you is unshaken, for we know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort.(2 Corinthians 1:3-7 ESV)

In pain and suffering we experience the blessing of Christ's comforting presence and empowerment. Through hard times we learn "to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God." The way believers assure those who are hurting of God's presence in the situation is not through meaningless platitudes, such as "God will never give you more than you can handle," but by suffering with the person, crying with them, being weak with them, asking why with them, praying with them and finding Christ with them. "For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer. Our hope for you is unshaken, for we know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort." Paul and his companions were able to endure unimaginable suffering as believers supported them them with both presence and prayers.

When God leads us into deep waters that exhaust our personal resources He does it to teach us to rely on Him and His people. "Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again." Nothing we say to people will relieve their hurt or pain. It is impossible to say something that will relieve the grief of a parent who has lost a child. Words will never assuage pain. False assurances that God will never give them more than they can handle will only make them feel inadequate.

We help the hurting by being with them in person and in prayer. We assure them that God understands their pain and brokenness. When they have no faith, God can give faith. When they are weak He is strong. They can find God's strength by relying on Him through us. I have suffered several times in my life. I have had my strength and my faith exhausted, at those time I have experienced the sufficiency of his grace through the prayers and presence of His people. When God gives us more than we can handle. We make the choice to rely on Him for the power we do not have, and it is the prayers and support of our fellow believers that enable us to trust him.

Comments


  1. Glenn,
    Thanks for your thought provoking article. I agree with it by in large. There are some indications that our sin does lead to our suffering directly, although it’s not a necessary correlation. As the book of Job illustrates. These are some other scriptures.

    Romans 2:9
    Isaiah 24:4-6
    Amos 4:6-11
    John 5:14

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    Replies
    1. I did not mean to imply that all bad things that happen are an immediate consequence of our individual or corporate sin, though sometimes, they are. I would add Matthew 5:45; Luke 13: 1-5 to your references to the universality of sins consequences. We live in a fallen world, which I think clearly implies that we can be stretched beyond our human ability to endure.

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